Whenever divorce occurs between a couple, children usually take the worst of it. Between the fighting, bickering and the parents talking bad about one another, children often get confused on whose side to take in the battle. With that being said, it is possible for two people to have an amicable divorce without adding additional emotional stress to the children. Here are 7 things that you should never do during the divorce process
- Don’t discuss custody issues with your former spouse in front of your children. Many times this may happened during one parent picking up the children or dropping them off. Instead save this for a time when the children are not around as they pick up on this fighting.
- Don’t have arguments in front of your children. While tempers may get heated, as divorce is a life changing event it is important to take the “high road” on situations and ignore the one who is talking or even walk away.
- Don’t underestimate the trauma that your child is feeling. If your child or children start to act out at school, get in trouble with the law or hang out with a bad crowd it is a must that you intervene and get them help, whether it be through counseling or talking with them on your own.
- Don’t badmouth the other spouse in front of your children. While you can’t control what your former spouse says when you are not around, you need to not take out your anger on your spouse in front of your children, as they will eventually resent you for this.
- Don’t let your new partner get involved with the process. Many marriages end when the husband or wife finds a new partner while still in the marriage. This person usually becomes hated by the former spouse as they feel that they are the cause of the divorce. Don’t let this new partner get involved with any arguments or any part of the child custody battle. It is best to keep this partner away from the former spouse as much as possible.
- Don’t get angry at your child for taking sides or expressing themselves against you for one reason or another. Many parents try to “win over” the children by trying to convince the child that the other spouse is mad or doesn’t like them. This can cause serious emotional trauma to a child and may result them in saying something bad to you or about the other spouse. It is important to talk to the child about their problems, rather than let them build up inside which may cause these outbursts or rude comments.
- Don’t lie to your children about anything. Lying is the worst karma and it is even worse if your children believe that you are a liar. Telling them that they may get back together or lying about your feelings towards them will be a bigger problem if the child finds out that you were lying to them. The key is to stay as honest as possible with your children, without giving them the unnecessary details that may cause them emotional harm.
Divorce can be a life changing event for children, especially when they know no other way than their parents being together. It is important to talk to your children and be honest with them about the situation. Arguments, bad mouthing of your former spouse, and lying to your child will do much more harm than good when it comes to your child’s emotional health.